I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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