I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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