who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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