i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
