If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
