too bad you live with your parents still
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
