hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
