alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
