The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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