Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
