how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
