Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
