hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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