I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
