You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
