We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
