areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
