Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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