member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize