That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
