Quick, to the slutcave!
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
