the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
