You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
