i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
