the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
