thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
