I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
