Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
