bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize