'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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