I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
