I wish I only lived at night.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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