the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
