Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
That reminds me...we need to get swords
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
