is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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