trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
