exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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