it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
