he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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