Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
