I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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