he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize