Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
