You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
