He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize