theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize