You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
