This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
