thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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