yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
