then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
