This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
