This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
