what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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