Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
