So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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