O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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