Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
