he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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