i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
