Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize