every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
