D3 body, D1 cock
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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