Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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