it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize