Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize