so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Can you repeat that, but with context?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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