im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
