so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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