and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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