Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she looked like the before picture.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
