a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
