i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
