Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize