I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Randomize
