You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Michael Bay diarrhea
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
