my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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