like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Randomize
