You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
