Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
