i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
