True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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